While focusing on the arts or sciences alone can produce limits for yourself where there should be none, balancing the dichotomy is nearly impossible. Yo Yo Ma says there should be more of a balance by incorporating the arts into our science, but what does he know? Having no outside sources of actual evidence to back up his assertions, Ma basically just goes on a tangent about his life to try to convince a gullible reader to pick up an instrument. I understand where he is coming from; I also believe that people need to be more well rounded. But to plunge our ridiculous common core standards further away from a proper education by mandating that every child study the arts is just wrong. How many scientists balance their career by wasting time with performing arts? Would Einstein’s theory of relativity be more refined if he picked up a Ukulele every day? While the left brain/right brain theory towards psychology has been pretty much debunked, most people agree there are different personality types that are virtually incompatible with each other. By making children who might be good at sciences perform art, you’re limiting their time and brain power with distractions of music and performance that they will never be passionate about. STEAM will work for some students in the middle of the spectrum, but students who are either artists or scientists will suffer.
You have a very strong opening that at first comes off very aggressive. You seem very against the views of Yo Yo Ma, but as the paragraph goes on you seem to loosen up and agree with some of his views. The paragraph itself is structured very well and I liked how you got the last word in to wrap everything up. The only thing I’d say is maybe rewording some sentences so if doesn’t seem like you are completely bashing Yo Yo Ma’s views so harshly otherwise its great.
Some strengths in this blog post are the questions you ask the reader. They add strength to your argument making the reader think of it with another meaning. It would help if you maybe referenced something Yo-Yo Ma said.
You have a very strong opening sentence. I liked how you played fair to both sides by saying that you understand where he is coming from. You also brought some really good points into your argument. I’d say the only thing to add is maybe a quote from Yo-Yo Ma to incorporate more from his perspective.